Love

Why does it take a tragedy to bring yourself to remember that you can love. Why does life have to end to see how much you needed them... I am praying for all who were involved in last nights shootings.

Crescendo

I feel like a fermata, I just want to be held. But after last nights service, I am climbing up out of this thought process and ready to prepare for what is next. You know how children when they don't want to go anywhere they just go limp and dead weight and expect not to be moved even though they only weigh 30lbs...... I think I did that for a while. I just went limp and I did nothing to better the situation and only floated on the current even though it was taking me to a dark place.
My show on stageit.com is today so I must prepare.

Complain alert

I want to start anew. I want to give my heart a voice at times. I want to share Ideas. I want my dreams to awaken. I want to hear from you, my friends. I will give you an opening to my thoughts and soul's desires. Yes it's all about me... and you.

Music and my journey with my physical limitations.... hmmm a little hard to stomach today. I just began to get my "chops" back and then a had a relapse with Behcet's disease. I am swollen, my joints ache, I want to sleep and just stay home, I am depressed and just all around angry! Ok yes, I know I can overcome this as there were many other healings throughout my life and times but I had to go though things for one reason or another.

I am on drugs tramodol and fenegren now... hopefully none later! I am ready to just stop and pour my drugs out by faith. I can't yet. I need not be in pain all day. I have people depending on me. I want to be dependable but how when I can't hold a solid train of thought. Grrrrr angry!!!!

what do I do besides complain..............................................................................................